12 In blogging/ mental health/ parenting/ running

Why I run and why I write about running

Royal Parks Half Marathon

When I first started blogging in 2005, it was all about parenthood – sleepless nights with a baby who was probably colicky, refluxy or sensitive to something I ate. We never figured that one out, I just didn’t know the right questions to ask and every professional I saw just said he’ll grow out of it. Thankfully my mother came to help us out 6 months into our parenthood journey just as we were both starting to hallucinate on a regular basis from sleep deprivation.

We survived the first year of parenting and moved to the UK to be closer to my family. Within the first year here we thought we’d give this baby thing another go but pregnancy didn’t happen very fast. When it did after almost a year, we found out at the 12-week ultrasound that there was no heartbeat. That Christmas was not a lot of fun.

After almost another year, many tests and a cycle of Clomid, little brother was on his way. Whew. Troubles over. Or?

Well… his birth was traumatic for me to say the least. I soldiered on for almost 2 years but by the time my body started showing physical signs of emotional struggles I put the puzzle pieces together and had a meltdown at my GP’s. She diagnosed postnatal depression. Amazingly right after I actually verbalised it all and let it out, a lot of my physical symptoms disappeared (my shrink said later that I’m very ‘talented’ at turning psychological issues into physical ones – how about that for a ‘special skill’!).

I started taking medication and I started running more and more. Running became my me-time, my peace & quiet, my meditation time, my time to just pay attention to MY body and mind…

I started blogging more and more about running, it was new and exciting and it made me happy – I was tired of writing about insomnia and sick kids and tantrums and toilet training and PND.

In January this year I closed the doors to my ‘parenting’ blog after 7 years and started this new one. I am really enjoying my kids now that they are 7 and 4. I am really not a baby person and although there were many, many lovely moments when they were little and I often look at old videos and photos with a grin on my face, I really do love life a lot more now that all the dramas and issues of parenting babies and toddlers are behind me.

Of course parenting a 4-year-old and a 7-year-old also has dramas and issues but – now I’m a runner. Not just a mother. Not just another foreigner in London. Not just a web publisher in a big bureaucratic organisation. I’m a runner.

Amazingly that part of my identity gives me incredible strength – both physically (I’m getting faster and faster) and mentally (parenting doesn’t overwhelm me these days and PND does seem to be in the past – 9 months without meds 🙂 ).

So I naturally write more and more about running and not so much about parenting. And increasingly read blogs about running and also fitness and nutrition in general. Writing about it and reading about it is encouraging, and it pushes me to be a better runner (I’m sure I run faster than I would if I didn’t have a blog and Twitter to ‘announce’ what my pace was).

My mind used to be so totally consumed by sleep issues, then going through a missed miscarriage, then secondary infertility, then PND. Now running is helping me not only put my body back together, but also put my mind back together – one mile at a time.

Running has given me a strong new identity other than that of a mother and that is priceless to me.

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  • Reply
    February 5, 2013 at 7:09 pm

    I can’t remember how i stumbled upon your blog (no doubt during another night feed) but im so glad i did! I’m hoping to find myself again and start running again hopefully when the clocks change and the feeding schedule has become regular!!

  • Reply
    The Fool
    January 28, 2013 at 4:34 pm

    I write what started as a parenting blog but more and more am writing about running so feels like I’m following a similar path to you. Haven’t yet plucked up the courage to take the running posts to a new location though.
    Running for me is escapism and more than anything keeps me in good mental health 🙂

    • Reply
      January 30, 2013 at 12:37 pm

      You have a cool blog name but my old blog was really struggling with identity so a new blog was the only way out of that identity crisis 🙂

  • Reply
    January 28, 2013 at 12:25 pm

    MrsB you’ve made me a bit emotional! Brilliant blog and so thrilled for you that running has brought you so much. We’re not just Mums!! x

  • Reply
    lisa gusto
    January 28, 2013 at 12:18 pm

    I love reading your running posts, even though I only walk myself 🙂
    Big congrats to 9 months without!!

  • Reply
    January 27, 2013 at 7:08 pm

    Thank you all for reading 🙂

  • Reply
    January 27, 2013 at 2:06 pm

    I love the design of your new blog! It is difficult for us women to reinvent ourselves at every phase of our life. It looks like you have done it really well!

    • Reply
      January 27, 2013 at 7:10 pm

      That’s a very interesting point, I think in real life the reinventing happened before and the new blog followed later. A lot of mummy bloggers just stop blogging when the kids are old enough so that the details of their lives should probably no longer be online (should they EVER be, that’s another question!) but I’m so addicted to blogging that I just made a new blog 😉

  • Reply
    Liz from Write This Run
    January 27, 2013 at 7:38 am

    It’s heartwarming to read just how much running has contributed to your life.

    Running changed my life in so many ways too, and I just love reading other people’s stories about their relationship with running.

    Thank you so much for sharing this blog post with us!

  • Reply
    January 27, 2013 at 2:41 am

    great reasons. I am a late comer to running. Also suffered a missed miscarriage over a xmas. 3 boys later and running is what keeps me sane !

  • Reply
    January 26, 2013 at 10:14 pm

    Great reasons for running and so good to know how life-changing you’ve found it. Respect to you.

  • Reply
    January 26, 2013 at 9:47 pm

    Prefect reasons to run. I’m so glad you found this outlet. ((Hugs))

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