10 In who am I

My mirror doesn’t really show what I truly look like

Happyness

It’s one of those things that you kind of know will happen but you also think that it won’t happen to you either as soon as it happens to others or as severely as it happens to others… You think that it’ll happen so gradually that maybe you won’t notice it happening at all…

I am 37 years and 6 months old and often when I look in the mirror I think “Is that what I really look like? Is that me? Is that how others see me??”

It’s a totally weird and surreal time in my life. I feel fantastic – healthy and strong, but when I see myself in the mirror I am always a little bit startled.

Just a few weeks ago I heard of someone getting their eyes ‘done’ because of their eyelids were sagging. I thought “it’s pretty cool that my eyelids are just the same they’ve always been… I’m sure they won’t ever sag… not a lot anyway…”

Two days ago I looked in the mirror and !boom! – my eyelids had given in to gravity overnight! At first I thought my eyes were swollen but by the end of the day I realised that that was not the case – my eyes had just finally realised that they’re 37.5 years old.

For years I have used eye creams very sparingly as I never have noticed them making any difference. I always thought “what’s a few wrinkles… they’ll happen anyway…”. Now all of a sudden I not only have the wrinkles I’ve had for a couple of years now but the entire area under my eyes is so much darker than usual and just sort of not so plump looking…

Considering how great I feel I’m a little disappointed that my face isn’t getting the memo of “look like the 25-year old that you feel inside”.

So what do I do? What CAN I do? I probably have no other option but to put on more make-up and keep smiling – a smile should distract people from all the wrinkles under my eyes.

And most importantly – I need to keep reminding me that a) it’s not normal that women of all ages are supposed to look identically ‘glowy’ and smooth-faced and b) it absolutely does.not.matter. what strangers and the wider public think of my looks. I do not know them, they do not know me. It just does not matter.

What matters is that I’m nice to the people I do meet personally – then maybe I’ll be one of those people whom you first meet and don’t think about their looks a great deal but then when you get to know them they become really good-looking all of a sudden. Rings a bell?  We all know people like that, right?

The mirrors lie. I’m convinced of it. I think a true reflection of who we are bounces back to us from those around us. I notice that when I’m around people who make me laugh and make me want to be a better person, I feel totally beautiful and don’t think about mirrors at all.

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10 Comments

  • Reply
    illustr.
    November 19, 2013 at 12:09 pm

    The last sentence is so beautiful. And so true.

  • Reply
    JenJ
    November 14, 2013 at 11:15 am

    So first of all: you’re gorgeous. You really are.
    Second of all, OMG, do I get your pain or what? I keep looking into the mirror and all I see is a very tired face. Even after a few nights of good sleep and rest, I still don’t look any different. I hate it as I feel fitter and healthier than ever before but I guess that’s the key: we need to concentrate on that feeling, cause ultimately that’s what it’s about. How we feel, not how we look. When we get to 70 and still churn out Fran or Angie like it’s our job, are we gonna be bothered that we’re wrinkly and white-haired? Or are we gonna high-five each other for still keeping up with the kiddos?! x

    • Reply
      MrsB
      November 15, 2013 at 9:27 am

      I will so still do Crossfit when I’m 70 🙂 And I’m sure by then I can do a muscle up!

  • Reply
    Heidi
    November 13, 2013 at 7:05 am

    Sa oled nii ilus ja nooruslik!!!

    • Reply
      MrsB
      November 15, 2013 at 9:19 am

      Ara usu seda Instagrammi filtrit! 🙂

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