I’ve had a bit of an epiphany lately.
I have been staying away from sugar, gluten and dairy for 1-2 years. I rarely eat fruit, veg or meat that is not organic (only when I haven’t bought it myself). I rarely drink alcohol. I rarely eat food that comes in a packet with a long list of ingredients.
Sounds good and healthy, right?
That’s what I thought until I realised that a big part of the reason WHY I am doing it is not to do with health but with fear.
Of course eating well makes me feel incredibly well but a few weeks ago when I walked past some non-organic strawberries in a supermarket I did not think how beautiful and ripe they looked, I only felt fear. Fear of pesticides, fear of illness, fear that eating something “wrong” would harm me.
I know why it’s happened. It’s happened because 2 years ago someone died and the more I read about that disease, the more I cleaned up my eating yet at the same time becoming more and more fearful.
It’s been a big epiphany for me – realising that it matters hugely WHY we do certain things. Eating well out of fear does not do us any good. Fear creates stress and no matter how well we eat, if we are stressed, we are not healthy.
I exercise because I love my body, not because I hate it. The same way I want to eat good food because I love my body and not because I fear illness.
I have therefore been “letting go” a bit. Good quality chocolate will not harm me. Kombucha, even though it’s made with sugar, will not harm me. A slice of cake on my birthday will not harm me.
So far I feel ok. I haven’t overeaten, in fact I have been feeling very in tune with my body, and I feel calm and well when it comes to food.
Life is to be lived and enjoyed and I am no longer restricting myself to NEVER EVER having sugar, gluten or dairy. I know the foods that do not agree with my body or my mental health (or mess up my running) so of course I will not start eating them in large quantities.
But the main shift in my mind is that every choice I make I make out of love and I do not let fear dictate what I do or don’t eat.
I have a feeling this post was a bit of a ramble 🙂 Does this make sense to anyone else?