1 In fitness/ health/ motivation/ who am I

If change is good then why do we freak out when our bodies change with time?

Ready to swim. Wetsuit fits. Sort of ;P


Most of us recognise that change is good and means we are evolving and makes us better people in the long run.

Then we step on the scales at the age of 30+ or 40+ and if the number is different from what it was when we were 18, we totally freak out.

Ohmygod I’m a different weight now! How did this happen? I’m supposed to weigh x! I’m supposed to be the same I was when I was a teenager!

My number is 60kg. I have no idea why, other than I remember when I was 17 or so we got weighed in PE once and I was 60kg.

So ever since then my number has been 60kg.

Not long after that weighing I embarked on a 7 year “journey of self discovery” that took my body to 85kg and then back down to mid 60-s. At one point, a year after my first child was born, I even weighed 58kg but I did hardly any exercise and I don’t remember that little body bringing me as much joy as my bigger body brings me now.

One thing for sure though, 85kg definitely was NOT a comfortable weight for me but I equally need to let go of the idea that 60kg is my happy weight – my body has evolved a lot since I was 17 and it makes no sense that I would need to or should have the body size or shape of a 17-year old.

We are not meant to stay the same. Our minds are meant to evolve and our bodies are meant to evolve as well!

My body’s made two humans, learned to run marathons, learned to lift pretty darn heavy weights and for the past few years I have weighed anywhere from 63-67kg.

And I can tell you that a fit and strong 67kg body feels a lot more enjoyable to live in then a 60kg body that gets no exercise.

But anyway, I don’t normally weigh myself because it does my head in – my initial reaction to seeing a number on the scales is still often freaking out.

Logic aside, how it FEELS to live in my body right now aside (note: feels great), I am just like most women programmed to freak out when the number on the scales is not what it’s “supposed to be” i.e. usually a number that was on the scales when we were 18 or when we got married or on whatever else arbitrary event from our past.

A couple of weeks ago I got weighed at my annual medical check up and guess what – it freaked.me.out.  I walked around all day, and some of the next day, thinking “Am I fat? Really? Do I look fat? I don’t feel fat? Should I feel fat? How come I’m so heavy? What if I just keep getting heavier and heavier and before I know it I’m a 100kg?”

Ugh. Unless you really need to lose weight for health reasons, I don’t recommend stepping on the scales. I have yet to meet a woman who isn’t affected one way or another by what the scales tell them.

But I say screw the scales!

We’re all adults (mostly) so we probably KNOW by now when our bodies feel comfortable and nice to live in.

Just go with that. Close your eyes when you get a moment of “ohmygod I must be fat” and FEEL your body. Dance with your eyes closed. Move. How does it feel?

I personally do have some extra padding around my midriff right now but it.doesn’t.actually.matter – yes, I love to eat, but I still feel great and I PB’d my back squat yesterday with 95kg.

60kg is not my happy weight. 60kg is not my happy weight. 60kg is not my happy weight. … (I’m trying to get this through to my brain)

My happy weight is whatever I am at the moment because I’m letting my body grow and evolve with me. It does not need to stay stuck in the last century.

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1 Comment

  • Reply
    Anna @AnnaTheApple
    May 11, 2018 at 12:52 pm

    Absolutely agree with this.
    God I weighed over a stone less (over 6kg) less during college. And I looked terrible! I was weak and just not healthy. Now I feel strong, fast and happy. Weight does not equal happiness.

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