I grew up without a phone but when we finally got one when I was 13 I wrote in my diary that it was the BEST DAY IN MY LIFE EVER.
I never got used to the thing though, and when I moved to the US at the age of 17, I hardly ever called home. It was too expensive, the connection was really bad and it was just all too stressful somehow.
Fast forward to the age of mobiles and I don’t use mine for calling.
I don’t know how normal this is or if it actually is a symptom of my anxiety or not (OR I’m just weird) but I only make a phone call if I absolutely have to and I never ever pick up the phone if it’s a ‘nameless’ number. It therefore takes me a reeeeeeeeeeeeally long time to organise things and that makes my anxiety worse because being organised is good but if organisation requires phones, I’m in a no win situation.
For example, my annual dental check-up is 4 months overdue, my annual eye exam is 1 month overdue, my cat’s immunisations are 2 months overdue, a haircut (mine) is a few months overdue and an appointment with a new CBT practitioner is 2 months overdue.
I just cannot make myself to dial a number.
I cannot dial a number that is not associated with the name of my husband, my son or my mother. I put it off for so long that it gets ridiculous and then I’m even more stressed about it.
Often I email to make appointments and sometimes it works but often they CALL me back. WHY the heck do they think I emailed in the first place!
The funny thing is that once I do make a phone call, I’m totally fine. I can talk, I don’t sound stupid, it goes well.
Funny, that.
Last week on my day off from work I sucked it up and called up a hospital for an appointment for my oldest son. It’s something that I couldn’t put off and since I HAD to do it, I did it. After that I was on a roll and I quickly called up the dentist and the optometrist but then I was done. The haircut and the CBT will have to wait. I can’t bare to make another phonecall to an unknown person anytime soon. My head hurt and my heart raced.
And the CBT thing is so hilariously ironic – I need to talk to somebody about my anxiety but I cannot call to make an appointment because I have anxiety.
I KNOW I’m not the only person with a phone-phobia. If you’re one of ‘us’, let me know if you have any creative ways of tricking your brain into dealing a number you have to dial!
14 Comments
Lauren (@PoweredbyPB)
January 30, 2017 at 3:38 pmI’m also terrified of the phone, I hate answering it unless it’s a select few people, and I also hate making calls (not ideal when I have to do it regularly for work), and make my OH call to book appointments/restaurants etc. I thought I was totally weird and alone in this, but it seems not!
Natasha Bluu
January 27, 2017 at 9:40 amSuprisingly it has NOT gotten better in time. I have people telling me that I will get used to it, but no. If possible, I use email. Or just make a short call saying “hiIamcallingfromcanIemailyouthequestions”. And if I really, REALLY have to do it, I take a deep breath in, partly switch off my brain and just concentrate real hard. It is easier to do many phone calls in a row, you are right about that. But after I have made 3-4 calls, I want to take the rest of the day off.
Lesley Boniface
January 26, 2017 at 8:54 amYep me too – looks like we’re not alone. I think if you have to do it – like your son’s hospital appointment – it’s easier but I’d much rather communicate by text, messenger or email. I love the live chat facility on some websites, I’ll sit and chat for ages on those!
MrsB
January 27, 2017 at 9:04 amI do use the chats as well. With my bank and thankfully we have it at work as well to talk to colleagues 🙂
suslik
January 26, 2017 at 7:02 amoh. i can totally relate. some days i don’t even pick up when it’s a familiar number. and i have my phone constantly on this vibrating mode so i would not get a heart attack because it’s ringing.
and yes, it is kind of hard to work as an assistant of a cooperation programme. those people, they looooooove talking. i just quickly ask for their email address for further communication 🙂 and hope that this will be the only phonecall for the day…
i have no good ideas for improvement though 🙁
MrsB
January 27, 2017 at 9:06 amMy phone is almost always on silent 😐 My desk phone at work too 😉
Franci
January 25, 2017 at 8:44 pmThis made me laugh– I feel less alone in my telephone fear now! I see people talking on the phone at 8am and think, “Who on earth are they talking to at this hour and with such animation?”
MrsB
January 27, 2017 at 9:07 amLondon public transport is FULL of people who have long phone conversations with all the gestures and laughing and what not. I roll my eyes at that. I’m that person. 😉
Cindy
January 25, 2017 at 4:56 pmI hate the phone. I avoid making calls unless it is absolutely necessary and never answer my phone. Ironically, I used to work on a help desk where I talked on the phone for a living. That was surprisingly different. If I need to make a call, I just pretend I have to do this for my job and if I don’t I will get fired. It usually works. Luckily, most things I need to do right now can be accomplished via email or text or an online web page or whatever.
If you’re worried about doing so, I always remember the following. 1. They can’t see I’m anxious; they have no idea. They can’t see me. 2. It will be over faster if I get it over with and just do it. 3. Practice what you are going to say first, or write down what you need to say when you call.
MrsB
January 27, 2017 at 9:08 amGood tips. Writing down stuff definitely helps. I often even write down my own address and phone number if I have to give it to people so I can just read it and don’t have to think.
Daisy W
January 25, 2017 at 4:44 pmComing from a fellow Estonian it’s totally an Estonian or just an introvertial northerner thing..
I know many other sufferers (including my mom) from back home!
MrsB
January 27, 2017 at 9:09 amMy Estonian mother lives with us and she’s on Skype EVERY NIGHT, ALL NIGHT. If not Skype, then phone with her friends here. I am definitely not her child.
Natasha Bluu
January 25, 2017 at 2:47 pmHi, I am Liis and I suffer from phoneophobia.
It is even worse, because of my work as a freelance journalist.
If anyone has any suggestions (besides JUST DO IT) I would like to hear them out.
MrsB
January 27, 2017 at 9:10 amYou must have some strategies for tackling the phone calls having this kind of a job! I guess you just write down stuff you need to say and do it?